I don’t know if it’s the hormones, the music, or the Facebook memories, but I’m crashing out.

Eight years ago, I was just a baby having a baby.

Eight years ago, he was still in my belly — and I was waddling around with swollen ankles, leaking titties, suffering to walk, trying to catch my breath after just going to the bathroom. Nights were long. Sleep? Nonexistent. I stayed up watching George Lopez reruns at 3 a.m., hands on my belly, wondering who this tiny person was going to be.

Now, I blink, and somehow that tiny person is tall enough to grab snacks from the top shelf.

Somehow his voice sounds different when he calls “Mom.”

Somehow I’m Googling soccer cleats instead of swaddles.

I read this poem today and it broke me:

I see you growing every day, but I don’t really notice it,

until someone who hasn’t seen you every day does,

a Facebook memory flashes before me,

or the size of yesterday suddenly doesn’t fit.

The shock is my reality.

I smile, cry inside,

and proclaim: “It goes so fast”.

that same child I’ve known since before anyone else,

and think — “Watching you grow is the best experience of my life.

And even if it hurts a little, loving you today helps more than a lot”.

And just like that, I’m crying again.

Because they were right. It goes so fast.

I put on Carrie Underwood’s What I Never Knew I Always Wanted and Trace Adkins’ You’re Gonna Miss This — and it was over for me. Full puddle. Snot, tears, the whole thing.

I think what gets me the most is this: I still see him as the baby I met before the rest of the world did. But I’m also falling in love with the person he’s becoming ; the way he laughs, the way he runs, the way he’s starting to dream big dreams

It’s bittersweet. And it hurts. But it’s also the sweetest hurt I’ll ever know.

If you’re in this season too, just know:

Yes, it goes fast. But loving them today right now makes the speed a little less cruel.

I started this blog back in February thinking I would share running tips, training plans, and marathon reflections. Running has always given me a sense of discipline – a purpose to wake up early, to push past comfort, to strive for something bigger than myself.

But as time goes on, I realize this blog is becoming more than just a place for running tips. It’s turning into a narrative of my life – my transitions, my struggles, my little wins, and my ongoing search for meaning.

Recently, that search has brought me back to God.

I have been feeling this pull to start reading the Bible. Not just reading it, but really studying it – understanding its wisdom, history, and promises. I want to know what it says about discipline, love, peace, and purpose. I want to grow closer to God, not just for myself but for my kids, my family, my future, and my inner peace.

To be honest, sometimes I wonder if posting about God is obnoxious or hypocritical. I am far from perfect. I still mess up. I still struggle with consistency. I only recently started going to church, and it’s not yet a strong habit. But this year, in His name, I swore off alcohol because I wanted to become a better version of myself, and I felt Him leading me there.

I am learning that discipline is not about perfection – it’s about surrendering and showing up, day by day.

My Call to Action

I am here writing this to say:

➡️ I want to start studying the Bible more deeply.

➡️ I want friends to do it with.

➡️ If anyone is interested in meeting weekly or biweekly on Zoom or Google Chat to read, study, and reflect together, please let me know.

I don’t know exactly what this will look like, but I want to build a small community that supports each other in understanding God’s word, finding peace, and living with discipline and purpose.

Final Thoughts

Thank you for reading my story. Sharing honestly is what I can offer right now.

If you want to join me in this journey or have resources or tips for Bible study as a beginner, comment below or message me. Let’s grow together.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33

Have you ever felt like everything around you was screaming, “You’re going to fail”? Like no matter how hard you try, it feels like you’re just not enough… or maybe it’s just not the right time?

I’ve felt that lately. And honestly… it’s hard. But here’s what I’ve been thinking about:

What if you did it afraid anyway?

What if you showed up for your dreams, your goals, your calling – even with trembling knees, a shaky voice, and all your doubts whispering at you? What if you just showed up anyway?

This week I was reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and the chapter about “Begin With the End in Mind” really got me thinking. Successful people don’t just wait for life to happen to them. They decide what they want, they see it, and they start walking towards it… even if fear is following close behind.

And honestly, sometimes you have to be a little delusional to start.

Sometimes you have to look at your goal and believe you’ve already achieved it. That’s what I took from “begin with the end in mind.” Because when you’re clear about what you want, you can start retracing the steps of people who have already done it. You can study their habits, their discipline, their mindset. You can get in rooms with people who are already where you dream to be.

Because here’s the truth I’m learning:

If the people closest to you don’t motivate you to become better ;and I said motivate, not compete ,then you’re missing out. You deserve to be around people who inspire you to say:

“I want to be better.” “I deserve better.” “My family deserves better.” “My friends deserve better.” “Because God knows I’m better.”

Sometimes fear keeps us in circles that keep us small. Fear makes us settle. But God didn’t place these dreams in your heart without also giving you what you need to walk them out. You come with so many strengths already within you. Any weakness you have can be refined with learning, practice, and humility.

I keep thinking about Joshua 1:9:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

God never said there wouldn’t be fear. He just promised He’d be with you through it.

So today, I just want to encourage you:

If you’re scared… do it afraid.

If it feels impossible… do it anyway.

If you don’t feel ready… do it anyway.

You don’t have to have it all together to begin. You just need to begin.

✨ Would a reflection journal to help guide your mindset and faith each day serve you right now? I’d love to hear your thoughts.