I’ve been wanting to go on this journey for over a year now. The idea of quitting alcohol has always been in the back of my mind, but social drinking has felt like such a big part of my life. I would tell myself that I deserved to “let loose” after handling my responsibilities—being a good mom, staying on top of school, running my household. I used drinking as a reward.
But this past weekend, I was reminded why I’ve been wanting to make this change. I had “only” two drinks, and in just three hours, I was super drunk. The next morning, I woke up feeling the same way I always do—full of anxiety, regret, and frustration. Even if nothing “bad” happened, the blackout, the loss of control, and the overwhelming guilt were enough to make me realize: one drink is never just one drink for me.
Last year, I tried to take a break from drinking, but I spent a whole month “celebrating” my first half marathon win with alcohol. By the time I got to my second race, I felt the difference. My training suffered, my energy was low, and I knew deep down that drinking was holding me back from being my best self. Marathon training saved me once, and I know that choosing sobriety will do the same.
For a long time, I told myself that alcohol = fun. That if I was drinking, then I didn’t have problems. That I wasn’t drinking because of my problems, I was drinking to have a good time. But the truth is, drinking doesn’t take my problems away—it just postpones them. And when I wake up the next day, the problems are still there… but now, I feel even worse.
So, I’m making a promise. To myself, to my kids, and to God: For the next year, I will not drink. I want to see what life looks like without alcohol clouding my progress. I want to fully commit to my marathon training, to my goals, and to showing up for myself every single day. I’m lucky to have a close friend on this journey with me, holding me accountable. And I’m setting boundaries to avoid situations where I know temptation will be high.
If you’ve ever struggled with alcohol guilt—if you’ve ever woken up feeling anxious, regretting the night before, promising yourself you’ll “cut back” only to find yourself in the same cycle—I see you. You’re not alone. And if you’re thinking about making a change, I hope this post reminds you that you can.
Here’s to a new chapter. Here’s to clarity, control, and becoming the best version of myself.
If you ever need someone to talk to about doing this, I’m just a comment away. To romanticize this new adventure, I bought myself a ring as a symbol of commitment—proof that I can do this. And hey, it was also a great excuse to reward myself for embarking on this journey.
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